Don't go towards the light

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light

Do you ever think of getting old? Missing teeth, aching knees, and wrinkly old? Thought about retiring? What will you do? Where will you go? Do you want to canvas the world's corners with your lover's hand nestled in yours? Do you want to be a defiant adult fighting father time, wearing skinny jeans, and calling weirded-out teenagers "bro"?

Do you want to dine and ditch at fancy restaurants and flash middle fingers frivolously? Don't! You're probably black and it will end in tears and another win for the prison industrial complex.

Will you have money to cash the checks your dreams sign? Will you still be working? Will the grind ever grind to a halt?

As I scamper to increase my streams of income, be more productive, and squeeze all the juice out of life; I am peeved by penseés of the days when I can't play basketball, dominate the middle circle of the dancefloor or sit without grimacing. The latter might already be behind me. Sigh.

To increase my income, because I like nice things, I have applied for many jobs this year in vain. Most times, I don't even get an email acknowledging the receipt of my applications. The job application abyss seems intent on hoarding my colorfully-worded cover letters and peppered CVs longer, still. Rejections run rampant, but I rally still. One day, I will get the perfect gig. In the meantime, you are reading this blog, which is now up to 200+ subscribers and will soon be monetized. When you see that Instagram trip, rife with curated reality and inspirational quotes, know that both you and GOD DID [it for me].

In a poor country with poor social services, and the persistent threat of political apocalypse, how does one prepare for retirement? How does one prepare for the mornings when the sunlight kisses your face, but the bittersweet urgency of life's pressures has kissed you goodbye? I am going to keep asking questions because I don't [really] have the answers.

I have decided to do my best NOW. To enjoy NOW. This post isn't about the flagellation of financial discipline, or inducing the pressure of your accomplishment measured by peeking at your neighbor's "working". Instead, I want to talk about the notion that we need to put off bucket lists until we are too old to enjoy them. I don't want to travel the world when I have age-induced dietary restrictions. I want to travel the world when I can wake up and go on a hike, ride a bike, and eat delicious food that gives me fiery diarrhea. I deserve it. My sins burn as hot as hell's flames.

I want to leave my phone at home and get lost on the streets of a busy city. I want to try weird foods, listen to tall tales from strangers, and badmouth the younger generations. (Seriously though, Gen Zs are WILD). I want to stumble over park benches and run red lights to chase pickpockets while yelling: "STOP THAT MAN" like in the movies. Even though no one ever stops that man. I want to earn my annual full-body checkup.

I know this is privilege-speak because the fist of poverty grips furiously and fends off the privilege of foresight. But, I am assuming if you have the time to read this—at the risk of sounding flippant—your situation MIGHT not be dire. So, how can you enjoy your life now?

Dust off that bucket list, or fashion a fresh one and figure out what you can do now.

Want to go skydiving? It's not that expensive. A plane ticket to Kenya (if you're in Uganda; otherwise, let's recalibrate, my dear), a hotel for a few days, and the skydiving trip could leave only (😅) a one-thousand-dollar-shaped hole in your pocket. And, if you mass text the local talent: "voulez vous coucher avec moi?" you could save on accommodation at the cost of only (😅) your dignity—and maybe—a venereal disease an antibiotic can fix. Want to visit any place in the world? You can visit many places for less than $2,000. At least find out how much it costs and start planning. A poverty mindset will become a poverty end-state. Save up. It is worth it. Nothing rouses the mind like a good trip and a good read. Read a good book while traveling and you're in the metaverse.

You can start by exploring your home country. Many Ugandans haven't experienced the lackluster, occasionally racist service at some of our local tourist sites. It is vile, but you don't get a vote if you haven't been there. You can't sit with us.

I have friends that travel cheaply by couchsurfing. I know, it's giving: hippie caucasian, but if the stake is expensive, take a gander at the beans aisle. It may take you a few months or a few years to save the money you need but you can do it.

Don't leave your dreams in diaries, forgotten in your fantasies. Pursue them while your blood runs warm. Pursue them before the storm.

Have a good week ✌🏾