"It is good manners to dress well" -Tom Ford
I like clothes. Today, I am wearing a crisp white button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to just-the-right length, tailored navy blue slim-fit tapered chinos revealing some ankle cleavage, and a pair of burgundy leather loafers that would make every Italian blush. Ok, I am sitting on my couch in my pajamas but the picture has been painted.
I was reading an article by David Perrel about serendipity and he made a great point: David believes serendipity is a skill that can be learned. By putting yourself out there—sometimes by blogging and begging for new subscribers—physically or virtually, you create opportunities for good things to happen to you.
You know that secretary in the government office you interacted with last time? No? Ok, let me remind you:
You walked into the office in a flurry with a singular bead of sweat threatening to invade your lower face. You rebelled with a hanky because you're the kind of person who still carries a hanky. The color of your shoes didn't match your belt and your shirt was unironed but you are a taxpayer, so you—rightly—expected service. You approached the secretary's desk and sang a plethora of pleasantries to con her into doing her job—You needed some signed documentation from her boss. The secretary rolled her eyes as she shuffled her feet beneath the desk, looking for her left sandal which was nestled under the printer.
You kept staring at the secretary so she found her footwear and fled into the office behind her. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. Nothing. 45 minutes later, your waning persistence paid off and she returned with news:
"The boss is up-country. Come back on Tuesday." After committing at least one crime in your head, you thanked her and left.
As you walked out, a gentleman wearing Tom Ford's F**king Fabulous perfume brushed by you on his way to his date with Ugandan mediocrity. You wanted to warn him, but you took too long. He left. You left furious but fragrant by association.
What you didn't know is Mr. Tom Ford, with his signature scent, shiny black wingtip brogues, and a fitting black suit, had a different experience with the secretary. At first glance, the secretary sprang up to greet Mr. Ford and offered him a glass of water from the old dispenser in the corner of the room. She then offered Tom a seat on the "soft chairs". Not the plastic ones you saw. After 15 minutes, Tom left the office with a signed and stamped letter and zero mental felonies committed.
What is the lesson here?
Buy Tom Ford's F**king Fabulous perfume! No, silly. The lesson here is in the power of presentation. The secretary was in the wrong and Ugandan government officers need regular internships at Cafe Javas (arguably the best chain restaurant in Uganda, for my non-Ugandan readers). But, sometimes, we are the secretary.
Human beings are impressionable. Sometimes our brains and bodies move faster than our hearts and we do things we regret later. Prejudice doesn't necessarily make us bad people. But we must recognize it, check it, and use human impressionability to our advantage.
You walk into a dinner party packed with acquaintances. Everyone has deadpan looks on their faces as you stroll in, but in the corner of the room, James is beaming with joy at the sight of you. If you don't owe James money, who are you most likely to sit next to? Yep—James.
Dress well and wear a smile. This combination wins more dates, friends, and jobs than Harvard graduates and shiny LinkedIn posts. (Don't fact-check this)
For my brothers out there, you can start with some of these items:
A good cologne
Tailored chinos in navy blue, khaki, and black
Plain white T-shirts
Plain black t-shirts
Tailored jeans in black and blue
Black/grey undershirts because the vest under your dress shirt should be invisible
Tailored plain white button-downs
Tailored plain blue button-downs
A pair of casual sneakers (any color; go crazy but make sure they match your outfits)
A pair of casual white sneakers (Good luck in Kampala, but YES)
Dress shoes with laces: Black and brown
Tailored suits in navy, black, and grey
A watch: black leather strap, brown leather strap, gold and silver
Leather belt: black and brown
Yes, it costs money to look good. But you don't have to start with Balenciaga (laugh with me). You can look good in almost anything if the outfit is clean, ironed, well-coordinated, and fits well (they are pathological liars, but tailors are essential). We can't all be Wisdom Kaye but we can all dress well.
Now go out there and make secretaries blush!
Have a good week ✌🏾
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